The Autistic (Vampire’s) Survival Guide: Grocery Shopping
A parking lot with a single shopping cart
It’s Saturday morning and it’s time to buy groceries, again. It’s the bane of your existence. You hope in your car or take the bus and head to your local grocery store. You sit in the parking lot for longer than needed, trying to psyche yourself up. The automatic doors open, and a wave of dread washes over you. People buzz by loud and everywhere. Your palms are sweaty and you are stuck in a state of paralysis—where do you start? Maybe, you decide to head to the ice cream aisle, but now the buzzing noise from the freezer is driving you up the wall. On top of everything, the lights are EXTRA fluorescent today. You feel a migraine, coming on.
View of car in parking lot
For many of us autistics, grocery shopping is a sensory nightmare. Symptoms that might be triggered by shopping include (but are not limited to):
noise and light sensitivity
Anxiety
Social phobia
Autistic meltdowns & shutdowns
Many of us are raised to believe we need to adapt our behaviors to succeed in society. While, adaptability is a good trait to learn, practicing radical acceptance and neuro-affirming thoughts helps us to understand our neurodivergence. In centering these practices, I have learned how to use accommodations and work within my functionality—not against it.
Here is a list of 5 tips to make your life easier. AKA the Vampire’s Guide to Shopping:
Wear Noise-Cancelling Headphones. Before noise-cancelling headphones I was stuck in a world of overstimulation, panic, and meltdowns (seriously, I would end my shopping trip in tears!). How did I survive? Barely. Noise-cancelling headphones changed the game for me. I like to stride down the grocery aisle (okay, more like zoom) listening to jazz, classical , or Lo-fi music. I would recommend a pair of Bose or Sony noise-cancelling headphones.
Go Early. The best time for shopping is early or late at a night. Basically, anytime when there is less foot traffic. It gives you more space to think and process, while you navigate the complexities of the store or your existence. Or both.
Write a Grocery List. Grocery shopping is a tactical mission. You have to be prepared! Organization helps us toe be more effective and efficient. The faster we can get out of that hellscape, the better. Take a few minutes beforehand—even in the parking lot, and write a list of the items you need.
Skip Aisles. After you write your list, look for the aisle signs—they will tell you where your item is. Go to those aisles and skip the others. It will save you time and your sanity.
Wear Sunglasses. Those fluorescent lights are killer. Due to our physical hypersensitivity, these lights can cause headaches, blurred vision, and other temporary complications. In addition to your noise-cancelling headphones, put on a pair of sunglasses (they don’t have to be expensive). Yes, you will look like a vampire (hence the title of this article), but who cares! We are trying to make your life easier! So, let’s dim those lights and concentrate on the task at hand.
Infographic describing 5 tips for autistic adults to navigate grocery shopping
